A Wine of a Tale

During the holidays I got a panicked call from a friend.  Apparently an important gentleman in the community had decided to come to the party last minute, and he only drank a certain type of wine.  The caterers were nearly there, and she asked me to stop by a Liqour store and pick some up.  I asked her to text me the exact type of wine so that I didn't screw it up.  When I got the text I was flabbergasted.  This guy's only request is that he only drank what amounted to just above a 2 Buck Chuck?  I was embarrassed for him, then for me for having to pick it up.

The Neon Beast and I were in a snarky mood, so the entire trip turned out to be one quip after another.  It took forever to find it because was literally in the "Others" section of the store.  NB said "Maybe we can try to find an earlier year than 2014."  I said "I'm sure it's all vinegar by now, the 2013 is on a salad somewhere."  NB retorted "You can use it for just cooking now, as long as you are cooking for your enemies."

We picked up the bottle and NB remarked "Oh, a screw cap; so you know it's quality!"  I'm sure we got the same kind of looks that Frasier got when he talked about wine, because as we walked to the front we shot back and forth lines like "When wine in a box is too big of an investment!"  "The brand is good for cars, but clearly they put this wine in the gas tank!"

Once we were out of the store we texted our friend, "We had to buy it with a Hustler so we'd feel less dirty."

Napa has really turned us into some horrible wine snobs.  But hey, they can't all be a de La Tour.

Of course, after all that fuss and comedy-inspired wine jokes, the guy didn't even show up.  "Maybe they can use the wine for fondue?" NB said.  I retorted "Yeah, fondue with your enemies."